No Haters Allowed...

"ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE"

People see my progress pictures via social networks constantly, but most have no idea how lonely this weight loss journey can be. You expect everyone to be just as excited and enthusiastic about your hard work as you, but if you think EVERYONE will be.. You are SADLY mistaken! The cold harsh reality of it is, not many will give a shit about your new 15 pound kettle ball or the development of your biceps. The same chick that you were once able to enthusiastically inform about a crazy shoe sale or good ass burger spot could CARE LESS about the details of your new lifestyle.

Before you go assuming that the lack of excitement is a personal attack against you, here's a breakdown of 4 different types of people you will encounter during your journey:

THE HATER:

This type of person is someone that will be 100% necessary to your weight loss. Why, one might ask? Because as cliche as this may sound, HATERS are your biggest motivators. This person will constantly make snide remarks about your new lifestyle, roll their eyes every time you even mention a word about it, and simply just not believe in your commitment to getting fit. I've encountered many HATERS during my journey and my ego was bruised a countless amount of times early on. One of the most hurtful and hateful things said was: "Mel please, you know damn well you're not gonna stick to this, I don't know who you think you're fooling! I honestly can't even tell you lost anything.." This was after I lost about 10 lbs during the beginning. Maaaannnn talk about hurt!?!! I was so upset ! But that hate was the fuel that I needed. It made me want to prove to that person and others who didn't believe in me that I WAS capable, that I WOULD stick to it, and I was going to make them EAT THEIR WORDS. And although I surpassed their low expectations of me, there was still negativity spewing from their hateful tongues. It makes you realize no matter what you do or how well you do it, some people will always have shit to say. But at that point, it won't even matter.. Because the HATER'S job has already been done and their services are no longer needed.

THE "SABATOGER":

This type of person is dangerous to your healthy lifestyle. The worst part about the "SABATOGER" is that a majority of the time it's the people closest to you, and most honestly mean no harm. This person could be a close friend that invites you out for a drink and appetizers, an overbearing mother that wants you to enjoy her famous macaroni and cheese, or a co-worker who kindly leaves your favorite bag of chips on your desk. This person has done these things with you/for you countless times, it's the norm! They have no idea that you just burned 1100 calories that morning or planned for a "no cheat week" that week. It's very hard to tell this person no, and to repeatedly decline invitations out. In the beginning of my journey, I had to become a complete social misfit. I would only come out to go to work and to the market. I didn't want to be around ANY edible temptation! My mother, who is a professional baker, would get so pissed off with me when I would stop pass her house. "Baby, a cupcake is not gonna kill you! Just eat it!" When you're a recovering food addict and in the beginning stages of "rehab", you cannot surround yourself with anything that would cause a relapse. As extreme as it may sound, I HAD to shut myself out from the rest of the world until I was able to cope with my addiction to food and my focus was crystal clear. And even though this was necessary, it will cause a strain in your relationships with people. But what they have to understand is, it's not THEM, it's YOU.

THE SMART ASS:

This person sucks, no way to sugarcoat it. They ALWAYS have a sarcastic remark about your lifestyle and it will make you want to cause great bodily harm to them. Here's a scenario: you have finally committed yourself to fit living, and you're finally able to face the real world in a social atmosphere. You go out on a Saturday evening to a house party, and as soon as you bite into a French fry, you hear: "Ohhhhhh you're eating FRIES and shit? Ok Lil Miss Diet!" The SMART ASS has no idea that you have worked out 8 times that week, that you planned your calorie consumption around that evening, and that you are not on a DIET, it's a LIFESTYLE CHANGE. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've been out and have been subject to this. Although my early reaction would cause me to become extremely defensive and explain away, I now pay the SMART ASS no mind. The temptation to punch them in the throat has subsided (somewhat). Just remember, when you are confronted by this type of person, just smile politely and keep it moving. Your results will speak for itself!

And last but not least...

"Mr/Ms WHO CARES":

This person is honestly the least offensive in my opinion. This person can often be confused with the HATER, but frankly my dear, they just don't give a damn. They may love you to death, but they honestly could care less about your new Polar watch, how many miles you ran, or about the devastating news that you gained .7 lbs that week. You will initially think that this person is being mean, insensitive, or uncaring... But put yourself in their shoes. How many times have you listened to a co-worker ramble on and on about what their grandson's new pet hamster, and while they're talking, all you can think is, "Who cares? I wish she would shut the hell up!" That's how "Mr/Ms WHO CARES" is thinking. Just because you are now obsessed with your new lifestyle it doesn't mean everyone else will share the same enthusiasm. Your best bet is to discuss these things with a group of like-minded individuals. There are plenty of online forums available for people just like yourself.

Keep these types of people in mind during your journey, and remember that no matter how lonely it gets, you are doing this for you. Some days will be easier than others, some days you will feel as if nobody understands you, and you will sometimes feel completely isolated from family and friends that aren't doing the same things you're doing.. But this isn't about them. All of the pain physical and emotional, will be worth it, TRUST ME! Keep your eyes on the prize and DO YOU!

Mell B